“Arcadia,” Lon’s voice said from my phone. “Who is this?” I teased.
“You can’t take my son on a date.” “I didn’t ask him. He asked me.” “He stole my cell and called without permission.” “Sounds like a personal problem to me.” A low growling noise came out of the phone.”
“I stumbled through the dark underbrush again crying out as I plunged through a thick spiderweb. My arms frantically brushed away the clinging web as irrational fear made me batshit-crazy for a moment. Scared of a damn spider when a bloodthirsty demon was chasing me down. Ridiculous.”
“Turn left in two hundred feet ” the computerized voice said in a cheery voice. “There is no turn in two hundred feet you bitch ” I yelled toward the screen. “Zoom out.” Nothing happened. “ZOOM. OUT ” I said again louder before the screen responded to the voice-activated command.”
“He gathered me closer, kissed my neck, then spoke in a low voice next to my ear. “I figure, see, if you find yourself getting more attached to the two of us than you planned, maybe you won’t think about picking up and leaving to start another life somewhere else.”
“Oh! Do you have a pocketknife?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Pocketknife?"
"Don't men your age always have pocketknives?" I asked in a high-pitched voice.
"My age? I'm not a fucking grandfather," he snapped.”
“It wasn’t the first time I’d run across sex spells: they
were just as common as electricity-kindled spells. They just
aren’t convenient for your average on-the-go magical
needs.
“Do all the memory spells require that?” I asked.
“I don’t think so. I just noticed it on the last couple of
retrieval ones.”
“Uh, maybe I could just get myself, you know, privately
…?” I suggested. I regretted it immediately, and felt my face
flush with warmth. What the hell was I going to do? Ask Lon
if he had any porn I could borrow and hole up in his library’s
washroom?”
“Maybe it involved a woman. Oh, maybe even a nun—ooh! Wouldn’t that be scandalous?” “Indeed, but no.”
“You trusted me.'
'You drugged me!'
He grinned. 'Yeah, I did.”
“So..."he whispered huskily in my ear, "we've discovered that you can arouse me." He demonstrated this fact by pressing harder against me, just in case I'd forgotten. "However, we don't know about you. And there is the small matter of Heka.”
“Everything is coming to an end, I thought. But what does that mean? Why do I say things to myself when I don't even know what they mean?”
“You think that drinking with a serial killer takes you into the midnight currents of the culture? I say bullshit. There's been twelve TV documentaries, three movies and eight books about me. I'm more popular than any of these designed-by-pedophile pop moppets littering the music television and the gossip columns. I've killed more people than Paris Hilton has desemenated, I was famous before she was here and I'll be famous after she's gone. I am the mainstream. I am, in fact, the only true rock star of the modern age. Every newspaper in America never fails to report on my comeback tours, and I get excellent reviews.”
“Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!”
“Every person makes a difference. And the choices we make, the things we do—they matter.” She looked up into Will’s eyes. “And now I do believe in fate. Especially the kind we make ourselves.”
“Don’t ever buy Monks Fishing, Stanley.”
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