Quotes from God Knows

Joseph Heller ·  368 pages

Rating: (3K votes)


“Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“But how can one be warm alone?”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“That's another thing that pisses me off about that Michelangelo statue of me in Florence. He's got me standing there uncircumcised! Who the fuck did he think I was?”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“It takes very little to make us [women] happy, and more than is contained in heaven and earth to keep us that way”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“Some Promised Land. The honey was there, but the milk we brought in with our goats. To people in California, God gives a magnificent coastline, a movie industry, and Beverly Hills. To us He gives sand. To Cannes He gives a plush film festival. We get the PLO. Our winters are rainy, our summers hot. To people who didn't know how to wind a wristwatch He gives underground oceans of oil. To us He gives hernia, piles, and anti-Semitism.”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows



“You’ve got to have a God. Without God, you might turn to something really crazy, like witchcraft, or religion.”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“First impressions die slowly, bad impressions take even longer”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


“Moses has the Ten Commandments, it's true, but I've got much better lines - King David”
― Joseph Heller, quote from God Knows


About the author

Joseph Heller
Born place: in Brooklyn, New York, The United States
Born date May 1, 1923
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“I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational. What it is, so far as I can see, is the truth with a whole lot of rhetorical bullshit pared away. Obviously, you can think of it whatever you wish. But please don't dismiss it as some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon. None of this is about morality, or religion, or dogma, or big fancy questions of life after death. The capital- T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness — awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: “This is water, this is water.”

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