Quotes from Fool

“I love you above all things, even pie.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet, the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes mad, drowns his girlfriend, and in his remorse, forces spoiled breakfast on all whom he meets.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“What is your name?" asked Lear.
Caius," said Kent.
And whence do you hail?"
From Bonking, sire."
Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love?”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair..”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Will there be heinous fuckery, Pocket?”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Like looking down on a lubricious chess set, isn't it? The king moves in tiny steps, with no direction, like a drunkard trying to avoid the archer's bolt. The others work their strategies and wait for the old man to fall. He has no power, yet all power moves in his orbit and to his mad whim. Do you know there's no fool piece on the chessboard, Kent?" "Methinks the fool is the player, the mind above the moves.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid?" said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“WARNING
This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. If that sort of thing bothers you, then gentle reader pass by, for we endeavor only to entertain, not to offend. That said, if that’s the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story!”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“I fink I gots deaf on me willie.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“I'm beginning to wonder," said Kent, sitting down now on an overturned wooden tub. "Who do I serve? Why am I here?"

You are here, because, in the expanding ethical ambiguity of our situation, you are steadfast in your righteousness. It is to you, our banished friend, that we all turn—a light amid the dark dealings of family and politics. You are the moral backbone on which the rest of us hang our bloody bits. Without you we are merely wiggly masses of desire writhing in our own devious bile."

Really?" asked the old knight.

Aye," said I.

I'm not sure I want to keep company with you lot, then.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Moi?", said I, in perfect fucking French.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Next out of the hall came the sisters and their husbands. Before I could say anything, the captain had clamped his hand over my mouth and was lifting me off my feet as I kicked. Cornwall made as to draw his dagger, but Regan pulled him away. "You've just won a kingdom, my duke, killing vermin is a servant's task. Leave the bitter fool stew in his own bile."
She wanted me. It was clear.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but unless you'd like to spend your watch looking for the box where your head is kept, resist the urge to wax ignorant on her naughty bits." -Pocket
I don't know what that means, sir." -Yeoman
Speak not of Regan's shaggacity, son" [...] -Pocket”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“She can be a whirlwind of tits and terror when she puts her mind to a purpose, can't she, sir?”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“I'll not have an exchange with an impudent fool." [Oswald]
He's not impudent," said Jones [the puppet]. "With proper inspiration, the lad sports a woody as stout as a mooring pin. Ask your lady."
I nodded in agreement with the puppet, for he is most wise for having a brain of sawdust.
Impudent! Impudent! Not impotent!" said Oswald, frothing a bit now.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Soon a whole guild of low-priced shrine keepers around Europe named their own pope - Boldface the Relatively Shameless, Discount Pope of Prague. The price war was on [...] The Retail Pope would offer cheesy bacon toppings on the Host with communion and the Discount Pope would counter with topless nun night for midnight mass.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

“Perhaps there is a reason that there is no fool piece on the chessboard. What action, a fool? What strategy, a fool? What use, a fool? Ah, but a fool resides in a deck of cards, a joker, sometimes two. Of no worth, of course. No real purpose. The appearance of a trump, but none of the power: Simply an instrument of chance. Only a dealer may give value to the joker.”
― Christopher Moore, quote from Fool

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Popular quotes

“I had learned and written too much history not to know that the great masses always and at once respond to the force of gravity in the direction of the powers that be. I knew that the same voices which yelled “Heil Schuschnigg” today would thunder “Heil Hitler” tomorrow.”
― Stefan Zweig, quote from The World of Yesterday

“...For that matter, men are perhaps indifferent to power.... What fascinates them in this idea, you see, is not real power, it's the illusion of being able to do exactly as they please. The king's power is the power to govern, isn't it? But man has no urge to govern--he has an urge to compel, as you said. To be more than a man, in a world of men. To escape man's fate, I was saying. Not powerful--all-powerful. The visionary disease, of which the will to power is only the intellectual justification, is the will to god-head--every man dreams of being god.”
― André Malraux, quote from Man's Fate

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― Barbara Ann Kipfer, quote from 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

“Her case worker had once suggested knitting as a means of anger management.”
― Debbie Macomber, quote from The Shop on Blossom Street

“Everyone wanted to create his own history. There was nothing as powerful as the written word; history had taught them all that much.”
― Ted Dekker, quote from Green: The Beginning and the End

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BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.