“Right now we're both yard sales of emotions. A penny for pain. A dime for bitterness. A quarter for grief. A dollar for silence. It binds us together, but I don't want him to pay the price for the parts of me that are used and broken.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Every song deserves lyrics. Deserves a story to tell.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Bravery comes one day at a time.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“I'd like to hold you in the mountains, like to kiss you by the sea. Take you far, far from here to a place where you feel free. Cause we are safe, we are true, we are going to make it through. Crashing worlds, falling stars, breaking all of who we are- I want infinity with you.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“He's opening a door, but he already knows I won't walk through. The power of Bodee is in the way he reads me, sees through me, and then understands the truth behind the facade. He's the guy who can walk straight through the House of Mirrors on the first try. It's almost annoying. No one should ride tragedy like a pro surfer while I drown.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“But today is better than yesterday. And this hurt is still a hole in me, but it's a shrinking hole.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Love in pencil is safer than love in life.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“And more than that, Bodee left me with hope. For love. For wanting someone to touch me again and to lie with me without fear as my first response. Because Bodee slept in his sneakers, because Bodee asked for a kiss instead of just taking it, and because he kept space between us. He danced with two fingers until I asked for three or four... and his hand on my hip.
I know we're both still broken. Both of us. But Bodee's got the glue to make us whole.
He is love.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“If he were to put his heart in my hand, he might never find it again. And I'm not cruel enough to let him break while he tries to heal the impossible.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Alone.
Before this crowd.
Alone, in this terrible dream.
Who am I in this visible silence?
Can they hear me scream?”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“I won't let anyone hurt you."
If a heart can smile, mine does.
"Bodee, thanks," I say, though I know he doesn't need it. "I'm sorry you lost her."
"At least I found you," he says.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“There are no words to this music, and that makes me sad. Every song deserves lyrics. Deserves a story to tell.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“He doesn't talk. Except to me. Doesn't smile. Except for me. Doesn't go to dances. Except for me. This is the refrain of our song. He's different with me, and yet I know this is the real Bodee. He's not pretending anymore.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Vibrant eyes, chocolate brown, kind. The mosaic of Bodee Lennox.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“I know these two weeks have been God walking right into my life like he has flesh and Kool-Aid coloured hair. The gospel according to Bodee Lennox. His safety. His protection. And love.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“ Your hurt is not an excuse to take.
Your loneliness is not an excuse to cheat.
Your desire is not a reason to rape.
You raped me, and now, I'm going to rape you. ”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Dance to forget yourself.
Dance to forgive
Let your body and your mind agree
If only for this breathe right now
Dance like you're free”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“One corner of Bodee's mouth moves. There's neither a smile nor a frown on his face, but I understand. Without words, he's telling me not to worry. He'll make certain I get home safely tonight.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Lex, this'll sound weird, but when I was a kid I believed in monsters. You know, like vampires. Werewolves. Ghosts. And I believed in them because I knew at least one other monster existed. He wore a shirt with his name stitched across the pocket. And carried a fifth for a weapon.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“So Bodee is a friend, I say firmly, a best friend. My honesty with the girl surprises me. But Bodee is right where I love him, in the room down the hall up the stairs from mine. Dinner instead of a dinner date. A hand to hold instead of lips to kiss. He’s my fort, my sanctuary. And I won’t do anything to jeopardize this.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Because Bodee pulls back when other guys his age rush forward. Because his two fingers on my hips while we're dancing and swaying to slow songs don't threaten me.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“I'll make you a promise, Bodee. Long as you're with my family, you won't run out of Kool-Aid." "And I promise you, I'll stop whoever's hurting you...even if it's you.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“It's as if he wants me to say he could have stopped his dad, so he's handing me a whip to beat him. But I won't, because I'm glad he hid. Glad he's beside me instead of six feet under.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“This morning the secret has claws. And it's climbing the walls of my stomach, twisting my gut, quivering and rolling and burning. Red-hot acid in the back of my throat. Ready to explode.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“All in all. You have been. Redeemer. Pain Steeler. My best friend. Please hold my hand.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Whenever I'm with Bodee, it feels as if I'm made of glass. Mascara, blush, and fake smiles never fool him. Maybe it comes from years seeing his mother hide her fears from the world. But I'm not ready to share.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Don't you ever touch her again," Bodee says. There must be muscles in his arms where before I thought there was only T-shirt. But it's not those muscles that pin Hayden against the ground: it's the white-hot fury that's as visible as Hayden's grimace.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“Funny how people value eyes, when really, their colors are super limited. I doubt anyone would enjoy a new box of crayons if they came only in eye-color shades.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
“I know your story.
Got one of my own.
Yeah, I know lonely and alone.
Happen in a crowd, happen in a kiss.
But I know how to change all this.”
― Courtney C. Stevens, quote from Faking Normal
Courtney C. Stevens
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“I'm like everyone else in this stupid, bloody, amazing world. I'm flawed. Impossibly so. But hopeful. I'm still me.”
― Libba Bray, quote from The Sweet Far Thing
“Too late came I to love you, O Beauty both so ancient and so new! Too late came I to love you - and behold you were with me all the time . . .”
― Augustine of Hippo, quote from Confessions
“During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher. I know not how it was--but, with the first glimpse of the building, a sense of insufferable gloom pervaded my spirit. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that half-pleasureable, because poetic, sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the sternest natural images of the desolate or terrible. I looked upon the scene before me--upon the mere house, and the simple landscape features of the domain--upon the bleak walls--upon the vacant eye-like windows--upon a few rank sedges--and upon a few white trunks of decayed trees--with an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium--the bitter lapse into everyday life--the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart--an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, quote from The Fall of the House of Usher and Other Tales
“I think of the separation between life and Paradise as a river,” Mirdin said. “If there are many bridges that cross the river, should it be of great concern to God which bridge the traveler chooses?”
― Noah Gordon, quote from The Physician
“We all want to be told stories, and we listen to them in the same way we did when we were young. We imagine the real story inside the words, and to do this we substitute ourselves for the person in the story, pretending that we can understand him because we understand ourselves. This is a deception. We exist for ourselves, perhaps, and at times we even have a glimmer of who we are, but in the end we can never be sure, and as our lives go on, we become more and more opaque to ourselves, more and more aware of our own incoherence. No one can cross the boundary into another—for the simple reason that no one can gain access to himself.”
― Paul Auster, quote from The New York Trilogy
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