Quotes from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life

Rachel Renée Russell ·  282 pages

Rating: (38.7K votes)


“So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Let your inner DORK shine through.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“OMG! Look at that! They’re ALL wearing the same butt-ugly ensemble! Wait, don’t tell me. They were giving them away for free with a purchase of a McDonald’s Happy Meal!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Sweetie, when life presents challenges, you can be either a CHICKEN or a CHAMPION. The choice is YOURS!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Minu ema moto kõlab: "No kuulge! Miks peaks laskma väikesel gangreenil või tillukesel pidalitõvehool takistada teekonda hariduse juurde?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life



“attention, there was an incessant gnawing deep down inside my gut that”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“I'll pluck out my eye with a pencil and eat it with a Spam and mustard sandwich IF ONLY you'll sit me at lunch today, MacKenzie!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“CHICKEN or a CHAMPION. The choice is YOURS!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“I was like, JUST GREAT! Grandma is finally going SENILE! Doesn’t she understand that some things in life you’re STUCK with and powerless to change?! Jeez!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Hey, I’m so BROKE, I have a milkshake on layaway at McDonald’s!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life



“Lucky for me it wasn’t Brianna at my door, but my parents. Before I could say, “Come in”, they just kind of barged in, like they always do, which really irritated me, because this is supposed to be MY room!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“The next my parents and Brianna come rollin' up in here, I'm gonna scream, "Hey! Why don't y'all just MOVE IN?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“The Price Is Right for Morons.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Absolutely no one writes their most intimate feelings and deep, dark secrets in a diary anymore! WHY?! Because just one or two people knowing all your BIZ could completely ruin your reputation. You’re supposed to post this kind of juicy stuff online in your BLOG so MILLIONS can read it!!!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“You’re such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life



“THREE things to be VERY happy about: 1. The Tyra Banks show ROCKED! 2. My rash completely cleared up. 3. My parents think I’m a fourteen-year-old Rachael Ray.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“She rambled on and on about how my attending a new private school was going to be a “stressful time of tremendous personal growth” and how my best “coping mechanism” would be to “communicate” my “thoughts and feelings.” I was absolutely ECSTATIC because you can communicate with a NEW CELL PHONE! Right?! I kind of zoned out on most of what my mom was saying because I was DAYDREAMING about all of the cool ring tones, music, and movies I was going to download. It was going to be LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Only a TOTAL DORK would be caught WRITING in a DIARY!! This is THE worst present I have ever received in my entire life! I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs: “Mom, I don’t need a STUPID book with 288 BLANK pages!!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“I bet the popular kids at his school called him “Puke,” “Schmuck,” “Yuck,” or something worse. POOR PUCK !!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Let your inner dork shine through”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life



“MOM! Please come quick! I don’t feel so good. My stomach is really queasy and I think I’m going to . . . blecchuuarggh!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Me and Zoey were like, “TATTOOS?! Are you NUTS?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Mom, I don’t need a STUPID book with 288 BLANK pages!!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Then he evacuated all the students from the classroom because”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life


“Hey, get a load of those two! It must be mating season or something...”
― Rachel Renée Russell, quote from Dork Diaries Book 1: Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life



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Rachel Renée Russell
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