Rachel Renée Russell · 282 pages
Rating: (38.7K votes)
“So many FREAKS and not enough CIRCUSES!”
“Let your inner DORK shine through.”
“OMG! Look at that! They’re ALL wearing the same butt-ugly ensemble! Wait, don’t tell me. They were giving them away for free with a purchase of a McDonald’s Happy Meal!”
“Sweetie, when life presents challenges, you can be either a CHICKEN or a CHAMPION. The choice is YOURS!”
“Minu ema moto kõlab: "No kuulge! Miks peaks laskma väikesel gangreenil või tillukesel pidalitõvehool takistada teekonda hariduse juurde?!”
“attention, there was an incessant gnawing deep down inside my gut that”
“I'll pluck out my eye with a pencil and eat it with a Spam and mustard sandwich IF ONLY you'll sit me at lunch today, MacKenzie!”
“CHICKEN or a CHAMPION. The choice is YOURS!”
“I was like, JUST GREAT! Grandma is finally going SENILE! Doesn’t she understand that some things in life you’re STUCK with and powerless to change?! Jeez!”
“Hey, I’m so BROKE, I have a milkshake on layaway at McDonald’s!”
“Lucky for me it wasn’t Brianna at my door, but my parents. Before I could say, “Come in”, they just kind of barged in, like they always do, which really irritated me, because this is supposed to be MY room!”
“The next my parents and Brianna come rollin' up in here, I'm gonna scream, "Hey! Why don't y'all just MOVE IN?!”
“The Price Is Right for Morons.”
“Absolutely no one writes their most intimate feelings and deep, dark secrets in a diary anymore! WHY?! Because just one or two people knowing all your BIZ could completely ruin your reputation. You’re supposed to post this kind of juicy stuff online in your BLOG so MILLIONS can read it!!!”
“You’re such a big BABY. So cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!”
“THREE things to be VERY happy about: 1. The Tyra Banks show ROCKED! 2. My rash completely cleared up. 3. My parents think I’m a fourteen-year-old Rachael Ray.”
“She rambled on and on about how my attending a new private school was going to be a “stressful time of tremendous personal growth” and how my best “coping mechanism” would be to “communicate” my “thoughts and feelings.” I was absolutely ECSTATIC because you can communicate with a NEW CELL PHONE! Right?! I kind of zoned out on most of what my mom was saying because I was DAYDREAMING about all of the cool ring tones, music, and movies I was going to download. It was going to be LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!”
“Only a TOTAL DORK would be caught WRITING in a DIARY!! This is THE worst present I have ever received in my entire life! I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs: “Mom, I don’t need a STUPID book with 288 BLANK pages!!”
“I bet the popular kids at his school called him “Puke,” “Schmuck,” “Yuck,” or something worse. POOR PUCK !!”
“Let your inner dork shine through”
“MOM! Please come quick! I don’t feel so good. My stomach is really queasy and I think I’m going to . . . blecchuuarggh!”
“Me and Zoey were like, “TATTOOS?! Are you NUTS?!”
“Mom, I don’t need a STUPID book with 288 BLANK pages!!”
“Then he evacuated all the students from the classroom because”
“Hey, get a load of those two! It must be mating season or something...”
“This is the Mona Lisa of bad diners.”
“Instead of fearing the future, I should live and enjoy the present, she told herself.”
“The simpler, the better. Complications lead to multiplicative chains of unanticipated effects.”
“Confucius, who had said it was better not to know about ghosts and gods, but rather to focus on the world we lived in.”
“She smiled. “You did. And my gaydar never lies. Although later, I thought you might be bi.” No, I wasn’t bi. I was sure of that now. The depth of desire—it was unbelievable. That, and the certainty of this being right. Being me.”
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