“Such a sensitive dog. Or maybe he just needs to go outside for other reasons.”
― Sarah Mlynowski, quote from Bad Hair Day
“I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves —” “I’m going to”
― Sarah Mlynowski, quote from Bad Hair Day
“She named her horse Basil? That’s the worst name for a horse I ever heard.”
― Sarah Mlynowski, quote from Bad Hair Day
“Let’s call the prince —” “Ruff, ruff!” “Pickles!” Jonah cries gleefully. My brother is so weird.”
― Sarah Mlynowski, quote from Bad Hair Day
Sarah Mlynowski
Born place: in Montreal, Canada
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“Why do these dumb fucks keep guns around the house? They make the world as ruinous as they imagine it is.”
― Esmé Raji Codell, quote from Educating Esmé: Diary of a Teacher's First Year
“Excuse me," he greeted, smiling. "I'm sorry to bother you, but do either of you know how to get to the Nokia Theater?"
"Absolutely," Dylan chimed in. "That street right there is forty-second." He pointed to the right of where we were sitting. "You want to follow that for another four blocks and then turn right when you see Yangsoon's Kitchen. Then you want to go up another two blocks and bang a left at Starbucks. You'll see the theater up on your right after the big McDonald's sigh. You can't miss it."
The man put the newspaper he was holding under his arm and extended his hand out to shake Dylan's. "Thank you sir. I really appreciate it. "He turned and scrambled off at lighting speed.
I peered at Dylan suspiciously. "You don't really know how to get to the theater, do you?"
His face remained blank as he shook his head.
"Not a clue.”
― Rachel K. Burke, quote from Sound Bites
“ARTICLE 85 If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. COROLLARY: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they’re whistling at.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code
“On the wall next to the door we’d entered through was a huge floor-to-ceiling bulletin/whiteboard combo and hanging from a thumbtack on the bulletin board amongst pictures and other various sorts of memorabilia was my bra. It’d been washed but it still had
a good many blotches of pink on it. If that wasn’t shocking enough, the dialogue written over the last two weeks on the whiteboard pertaining to said bra certainly was. I’ll include the copy just so you can truly appreciate what I’m dealing with here.
Tristan’s Mom: What’s this?
Tristan: A size 34B lace covered slingshot.
Jeff: Nice!
Tristan’s Mom: Do I want to know?
Tristan: I don’t know, do you?
Tristan’s Mom: Not really. Are you planning on returning it or did you win some kind of prize?
Tristan: I plead the fifth.
Tristan’s Dad: Well done son.
Jeff: Ditto!
Tristan’s Mom: Don’t encourage him.
Tristan: Gee, thanks Mom.
Tristan’s Dad: Can’t a father be proud of his only child?
Tristan’s Mom: He doesn’t need your help…obviously.
Tristan’s Dad: That’s because he takes after me.
Tristan: Was there anything else I can do for you two?
Tristan’s Mom: Tell her I tried to get the stains out, but I’m afraid they set in before I got to it.
Tristan: I’m sure she’ll appreciate your effort, but if I’m any judge (and I’d like to think I am) its
size has caused it to become obsolete and she needs to trade up.
Jeff: I’m so proud.
Tristan: Thanks man.
Tristan’s Mom: A name would be nice you know.
Tristan: Camie.
Tristan’s Mom: Do we get to meet her?
Tristan: Sure. I’ll have my people call your people and set it up.
Tristan’s Mom: I don’t know why I bother. Do you want anything from the store?
Tristan: Yeah, Camie’s sleeping over tonight and I promised her bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Jeff’s got the eggs covered but could you pick up some bacon for us and maybe a box of Twinkies
for the bus? Thanks, you’re the best.
Jeff: I have the eggs covered?
Tristan’s Dad: He gets his sense of humor from you.
Tristan’s Mom: Flattery will get you everywhere. How would you like your eggs prepared dear?”
― Jenn Cooksey, quote from Shark Bait
“The prophet Habakkuk lived in a time that was much like ours. He, too, asked Hashem, ‘Why do you tolerate the treacherous? Why are you silent while the wicked swallow up those more righteous than themselves?’ And you know Hashem’s reply as well as I do: ‘The righteous shall live by his faith.”
― Lynn Austin, quote from While We're Far Apart
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