Lemony Snicket · 324 pages
Rating: (12.7K votes)
“If you like books with happy endings then put this book down immediately.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. It might seem right to wear a navy blue suit, for instance, but when you arrive there could be several other people wearing the same thing, and you could end up being handcuffed due to a case of mistaken identity. It might seem right to wear your favorite pair of shoes, but there could be a sudden flood at the party, and your shoes would be ruined. And it might seem right to wear a suit of armor to the party, but there could be several other people wearing the same thing, and you could end up being caught in a flood due to a case of mistaken identity, and find yourself drifting out to sea wishing that you were wearing deep-sea diving equipment after all. The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing, and so few volunteers who are able to stop them.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“As I'm sure you know, to be in one's own room, in one's own bed, can often make a bleak situation a little better”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“Just because something is typed—whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book—this does not mean that it is true.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“A letter may be coded, and a word may be coded. A theatrical performance may be coded, and a sonnet may be coded, and there are times when it seems the entire world is in code. Some believe that the world can be decoded by performing research in a library. Others believe that the world can be decoded by reading a newspaper.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“For sapphires we are held in here. Only you can end our fear.” Violet said. “Until dawn comes we cannot speak. No words can come from this sad beak.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“trivial as her hair. This morning she was thinking about how to construct”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“take either forty-eight or eighty-four pages to”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“white beans, cherry tomatoes, and fresh basil, all mixed together with lime juice, olive oil, and cayenne pepper,”
― Lemony Snicket, quote from A Series of Unfortunate Events Box: The Complete Wreck
“We ran, as graceful as a burst beetroot.”
― Kate Griffin, quote from The Midnight Mayor
“—Dicen —explicó el boyardo de Vladímir— que Alejandro ha dejado instrucciones a su familia para que le den Moscú cuando sea mayor. —¡Moscú! ¡Esa ciudad miserable! —No es gran cosa —convino el otro—, aunque no está mal situada.”
― Edward Rutherfurd, quote from Russka: the Novel of Russia
“Why, once Jakes went out to cover a revolution in one of the Balkan capitals. He overslept in his carriage, woke up at the wrong station, didn't know any different, got out, went straight to a hotel, and cabled off a thousand-word story about barricades in the streets, flaming churches, machine guns answering the rattle of his typewriter as he wrote.
Well they were pretty surprised at his office, getting a story like that from the wrong country, but they trusted Jakes and splashed it in six national newspapers. That day every special in Europe got orders to rush to the new revolution. Everything seemed quiet enough, but it was as much their jobs were worth to say so, with Jakes filing a thousand words of blood and thunder a day. So they chimed in too. Government stocks dropped, financial panic, state of emergency declared, army mobilized, famine, mutiny — and in less than a week there was an honest to god revolution under way, just as jakes had said. There's the power of the press for you.”
― Evelyn Waugh, quote from Scoop
“Those poor people know Communism gives them bread, while democracy gives them a vote and a Letter to the Editor.”
― Irving Wallace, quote from The Man
“The Puffer Fish: Wherein the author flaunts his vocabulary.
His father was IRA and his mother was Quebecois, and they had reliquished their mortal coils in the internecine conflagration that ended their conjoined separatist movement, IRA-Q. The appellation he was given by his progenitors was Ray O'Vaque ("Like the battery," he'd elucidate, with an adamantine stare that proscribed any mirth). In his years of incarceration, however, he had earned the sobriquet "Uncle Milty" for his piscine amatory habits.
He had been emancipated from the penitentiary for three weeks, and now his restless peregrinations had conveyed him to this liminal place, seeking compurgation in the permafrost of the hyperborean tundra, which was an apt analogue of the permafrost in his heart. He insinuated himself into the caravansary with nugatory expectations, which were confirmed by the exiguous provisions for comfort. But then the bartender looked up from laving the begrimed bar, his eyes growing luminous as he ejactulated, "Milt!”
― Howard Mittelmark, quote from How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them—A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide
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