Felix Abt · 320 pages
Rating: (138 votes)
“When does a wife know that her husband is cheating on her? When he starts complaining about the lack of water as he wants to have two showers a week.” This was one of the many popular jokes.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“Yet skirts are getting shorter, and more women can be seen in Pyongyang now with high heels. The change must be shocking to people in the more conservative countryside, where high heels continue to be associated with prostitution.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“It’s a little-known story that bicycles played a big role in propping up North Korea’s informal and privatized economy, because they helped small traders shuffle goods between the manufacturers and markets. These bicycle riders, in turn, became an informal merchant class.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“The husband beats his wife,” she responded. “The neighbors don’t care, and even if they complained, the man would not change.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“One time an employee brought cakes to the office to celebrate her daughter’s passing the exam, whereas another coincidentally fell “sick” when her child repeatedly failed the entrance exams.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“To my amusement, a traffic sign prohibited ox carts from passing by revolutionary sites, out of fear that the oxen would defecate close to these venerated monuments. These strong, resilient, and patient animals weren’t merely shuffling goods along roads, but because of the limited mechanization and shortage of fuel they also plowed rice paddy fields. I got the impression that, unlike in China and Vietnam where every year is the year of a different animal, in North Korea every year was the Year of the Oxen.”
― Felix Abt, quote from A Capitalist in North Korea: My Seven Years in the Hermit Kingdom
“The world is full of precious garbage.”
― Ryan Boudinot, quote from Blueprints Of The Afterlife
“Nobody really knows which is happening when the teacher closes the door. At worst, mediocrity. At best, miracles.”
― Esmé Raji Codell, quote from Educating Esmé: Diary of a Teacher's First Year
“You love him, don't you?"
"That's an impossible question to answer."
"No it isn't," she argued. "It's a simple yes or no. You either love someone or you don't."
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Renee, maybe is not an acceptable answer. That's like saying you're a little bit pregnant and or caught a touch of breast cancer. Deep down, you know whether or not you love someone.”
― Rachel K. Burke, quote from Sound Bites
“ARTICLE 54 A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code
“On the wall next to the door we’d entered through was a huge floor-to-ceiling bulletin/whiteboard combo and hanging from a thumbtack on the bulletin board amongst pictures and other various sorts of memorabilia was my bra. It’d been washed but it still had
a good many blotches of pink on it. If that wasn’t shocking enough, the dialogue written over the last two weeks on the whiteboard pertaining to said bra certainly was. I’ll include the copy just so you can truly appreciate what I’m dealing with here.
Tristan’s Mom: What’s this?
Tristan: A size 34B lace covered slingshot.
Jeff: Nice!
Tristan’s Mom: Do I want to know?
Tristan: I don’t know, do you?
Tristan’s Mom: Not really. Are you planning on returning it or did you win some kind of prize?
Tristan: I plead the fifth.
Tristan’s Dad: Well done son.
Jeff: Ditto!
Tristan’s Mom: Don’t encourage him.
Tristan: Gee, thanks Mom.
Tristan’s Dad: Can’t a father be proud of his only child?
Tristan’s Mom: He doesn’t need your help…obviously.
Tristan’s Dad: That’s because he takes after me.
Tristan: Was there anything else I can do for you two?
Tristan’s Mom: Tell her I tried to get the stains out, but I’m afraid they set in before I got to it.
Tristan: I’m sure she’ll appreciate your effort, but if I’m any judge (and I’d like to think I am) its
size has caused it to become obsolete and she needs to trade up.
Jeff: I’m so proud.
Tristan: Thanks man.
Tristan’s Mom: A name would be nice you know.
Tristan: Camie.
Tristan’s Mom: Do we get to meet her?
Tristan: Sure. I’ll have my people call your people and set it up.
Tristan’s Mom: I don’t know why I bother. Do you want anything from the store?
Tristan: Yeah, Camie’s sleeping over tonight and I promised her bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Jeff’s got the eggs covered but could you pick up some bacon for us and maybe a box of Twinkies
for the bus? Thanks, you’re the best.
Jeff: I have the eggs covered?
Tristan’s Dad: He gets his sense of humor from you.
Tristan’s Mom: Flattery will get you everywhere. How would you like your eggs prepared dear?”
― Jenn Cooksey, quote from Shark Bait
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