Quotes from The Palace Job

“Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Hey, come on!” Kail pushed into the hallway and saw an ascetic-looking man whose lapitect robes had some little stars on the collar. “We’re trying to work, here! Do I go down to where your mother works and push the sailors out of her bed?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“So how'd an academic end up walking a zombie through a palace on a heist job?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“I'm just saying, as someone who occasionally rigs fights, I'm offended by the lack of professionalism.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Fight the enemy. Not their people.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Word on the street says you've taken down a lot of rich bastards."
"Well, the poor bastards don't have much money, or any challenging safes.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“The lone guard was asleep at his desk. Loch thoughtfully woke him up by prodding his throat with her sword, and it was agreed that the guard would spend the night peacefully and quietly bound and gagged in the broom closet.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“What's your specialty?"
The wizard squinted. "What would you like my specialty to be?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“She said it with capital letters and everything.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Trust is a more complex philosophical issue than the average layperson can understand.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Oh, please,” said Hessler. “It’s your standard false duality designed to draw gullible believers into a world of monochromatic enemies and strip away any moral ambiguity—usually utilized by the ruling government to bolster whatever policies it wishes to implement.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Do you mean good as in ethical or good as in capable, Dairy?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Do you radiate cold magic when you punch people?" Kail asked.
"I do not engage in physical combat," Icy replied, taking a bite from his vegetable plate, "and I possess no elemental magic ability."
"Then why Icy Fist?"
"It is short for 'Indomitable Courteous Fist,' which is my full name."
"That's significantly less cool, Icy.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“I am a death priestess,” Tern’s voice echoed out of the vault, “but I’m bouncy and I have pretty hair.…”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Do you make a habit out of proclaiming things in ignorance?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“The others agreed that the gifts of the ancients and the gods were sometimes confusing, and Desidora did eventually decide to stay in.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“So I'm, like, more male than most men?" Kail asked with a hint of pride.
Icy pursed his lips. "That is certainly one way of interpreting my statement," he said, and glanced briefly overhead before continuing. "And you seem almost to transmit this disharmony to others by your speech and attitudes, such that your very presence disrupts the balance of their spirit."
"You're saying I get them mad and confused?" Kail asked.
"I... yes.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“And as Bi'ul leaped at him, a shimmering prism of rage, Dairy swung.
The world went black for one long moment, and there was only the sound of glass breaking, a glass containing all the oceans in the world, and those oceans held back the fires of a thousand suns, and it all burst forth in one massive wave of power that spread across creation in an instant.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Dairy laid a hand gently on her flank. "Captain Loch showed me the difference between is and should. She shouldn't be gone but she is..." She was still trembling. Tiny whiskers of breath barely made puffs of steam in the cold morning air. "But she shouldn't be. Someone needs to start should.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Because you alone are the spark that will burn clean and let the new growth come.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“You’re a death priestess?” the man asked. His urge to have sex with her had diminished greatly, though not entirely. “Like, sacrificing babies and devouring souls to gain the power of daemons and all that?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Get you dead ass out of the sarcophagus and follow along," Tern muttered. "And no yelling for guards, and no continuing forward when we stop and then stomping all over us and crushing our spines and skulls under your undead feet because we didn't explicitly tell you not to do that.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“The brigand in the inner palace had led the guards on a lively chase, picking corridors and servants' hallways almost as if he had studied the palace layout.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“So you can sense her aura and stuff, right?" Kail asked as he got to his feet. "So anything I say about her not being a unicorn--”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“I like my kahva the way I like my women… hot and black.” “I like my kahva the way I like my men,” she replied, her eyes half-lidded. “Ground up into tiny pieces and stored in a bag.” As the man sputtered, Loch laughed in delight”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“To try to convince this proud old brotherhood that the color of my skin doesn’t make me a fool? Do you know what I have to swallow to get myself invited to the meetings where the real decisions get made?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“You just stay careful." Tawyer prodded Kail with his truncheon. "Can't blame the warden for getting angry. Byn-kodar's hell, all she had to do was show a little respect!"
"Oh, damn, Tawyer, you're right," Kail said as he and Loch turned a corner on the pipe, their leg-chains protesting the uneven fittings with shrill screeches. "I guess she has to die. What was I thinking?”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“Axes and fire killed, as swiftly as the hunter’s arrow, as surely as the mountain lion’s fangs.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

“He broke into a smile again, a boyish grin. "You know what the best part is? You didn't even steal the real manuscript." He picked up the book again. "I had a forgery placed in my vault, just to be safe. The real elven manuscript is in my library." He tossed the book aside. "After all, young lady, that's where books go.”
― Patrick Weekes, quote from The Palace Job

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Of all lessons, that one I never learned and I hope I never do. My heart daily grows new foliage, always adding people, picking up new heartaches like a wool coat collects cockleburs and beggar's-lice seeds. It gets fuller and fuller as I walk slow as a sloth, carrying all the pain Pun and Frank and so many others tried to walk from. Especially the pain of the lost forest. Sometimes there is no leaving, no looking westward for another promised land. We have to nail our shoes to the kitchen floor and unload the burden of our heart. We have to set to the task of repairing the damage done by and to us.”
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“Look, Aerin, preparation is only half the challenge of winning a debate.”
“And the other half?”
He had her now. “You have to choose the right side.”
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“Why would I do that?” Doubt edged her voice, but now she was sitting erect, her feet flat on the floor.
“Because then you have further to go to prove your case.” He eased the feet of his chair down. “In a debate, there are two sides. If both make a good argument, then the less popular side wins because that side had further to go to prove its point. Simple logistics.”
“If you don’t care which side wins.” She frowned.
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