Tim Burton · 115 pages
Rating: (27.7K votes)
“Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.
But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Son, are you happy?
I don't mean to pry,
but do you dream of Heaven?
Have you ever wanted to die?”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“My name is Jimmy,
but my friends just call me
the hideous penguin boy.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“They took a baseball bat
and whacked open his head.
Mummy Boy fell to the ground;
he finally was dead.
Inside of his head
were no candy or prizes,
just a few stray beetles
of various sizes.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor,
What have you done to my boy?
He's not flesh and blood,
he's aluminum alloy!"
The doctor said gently,
What I'm going to say
will sound pretty wild.
But you're not the father
of this strange looking child.
You see, there still is some question
about the child's gender,
but we think that its father
is a microwave blender.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“My diagnosis," he said
"for better or worse,
is that your son is the result
of an old pharaoh's curse.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware
he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“The Boy with Nails in His Eyes
put up his aluminum tree.
It looked pretty strange
because he couldn't really see.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“He can't fly around tall buildings, or outrun a speeding train, the only talent he seems to have is leaving a nasty stain!”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Alone and rejected, Mummy Boy wept,
then went to the cabinet
where the snack food was kept.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
“Cabeza de melón
Había un niño taciturno,
de hombre y melón un injerto.
Tenía el ánimo nocturno
por desear tanto estar muerto.
Pero hay que tener cuidado
con lo que se desea.
Pues él acabó en jalea
tras un pisotón bien dado.”
― Tim Burton, quote from The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
Tim Burton
Born place: in Burbank, California, The United States
Born date August 25, 1958
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“Where. Is. He?" Alphonse repeated, although it sounded more like "Don't make me eat your face.”
― Karen Chance, quote from Embrace the Night
“No one had any right to condemn him for this, because all who live under the present system practise selfishness, more or less. We must be selfish: the System demands it. We must be selfish or we shall be hungry and ragged and finally die in the gutter. The more selfish we are the better off we shall be. In the 'Battle of Life' only the selfish and cunning are able to survive: all others are beaten down and trampled under foot. No one can justly be blamed for acting selfishly--it is a matter of self-preservation--we must either injure or be injured. It is the system that deserves to be blamed. What those who wish to perpetuate the system deserve is another question.”
― Robert Tressell, quote from The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists
“Seated at the table, high in her firmament of gin, she looked critically at her brother and his wife, remembering some real or imagined injustice of her youth, for with any proximity the constellations of some families generate among themselves an asperity that nothing can sweeten.”
― John Cheever, quote from The Stories of John Cheever
“When a group of young females had asked her what one should name her horse, she'd answered, "I like the sound of Fellatio."
When Rydstrom had confronted Sabine about it, she'd said, "Do you know how priceless it was to hear that demoness sigh, 'I love my Fellatio'? Even gold can't buy moments like that!”
― Kresley Cole, quote from Kiss of a Demon King
“Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions.”
― Douglas Adams, quote from The Salmon of Doubt
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