“Article 2: "A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
“Article 24: "When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”
“Article 100: "When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection."
Corollary: "If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall put his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull down to get a better look.”
“ARTICLE 54 A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).”
“ARTICLE 120 A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name. EXCEPTION: If a Bro’s last name is also a racial epithet.”
“ARTICLE 2 A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
“A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
“ARTICLE 85 If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. COROLLARY: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they’re whistling at.”
“ARTICLE 41 A Bro never cries. EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.*”
“When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”
“ARTICLE 130 If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.”
“Artículo 37. Un Colega no está obligado a abrirle caballerosamente la puerta a nadie [...], ellas mismas pueden abrir las puertas. Seamos sinceros, una puerta no pesa tanto.”
“He hadn’t found what he’d meant to find, but his need to swipe and hoard something had been appeased for now.”
“So. That’s all you got? A wrecked SUV and a bear? Must be a little anticlimactic for you,” she said. “You calling that bear anticlimactic? Baby, that is a huge frickin’ bear!” There must have been about twenty-five men, they all smelled bad, and they were filing into the bar. Mel sniffed Jack’s shirt. “Whew,” she said. “You smell almost as bad as the bear.” “It’s going to get worse before it gets better,” he said. “Now we’ll have beer, food and cigars. I have to get in there and start serving beer while Preacher and Ricky fire up the barbecue pit.” “I’ll help,” she said, taking his hand. “It was a waste of time, wasn’t it?” “Not in my mind. Our forest is nice and tidy, we’re turning a trailer full of plants over to the sheriff and we got a mean old bear.” “You had fun,” she accused. “Not on purpose,” he said. But his smile was very large. “Is”
“When people went on vacation, they shed their home skins, thought they could be a new person.”
“...and then I began to drift, fighting tears. I used to come here with Miriam. Miriam, my heart's desire. What was troubling her this morning? Maybe Kate had reproached her on the phone for leaving me? How dare Kate.
Oh yeah? Go for it, my darling. Remind her of what she's missing. No, don't.”
“I want to see what I will be getting later tonight.” I look at the nude-colored lace that sits under her belly button and shows off the cheeks of her ass.
“You’re getting your hand, buddy.” She pats my chest. “I’m staying at my mom’s tonight, remember?” Fuck, I forgot about that.
“Who made that stupid rule up?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs, shimmying her dress back over her hips.
“You’re not leaving me tonight until I taste you; so you need to figure out how to make that happen, or your mom’s going to be pissed when I show up at her house, telling her that I need to eat her daughter’s p**sy before I go to bed or else I can’t sleep.” I watch her cheeks turn bright pink as she glares at me.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, but wouldn’t I?” I smirk. I wouldn’t do that, exactly, but I would show up at her mom’s to get my nightly snack.
“Figure it out, babe.”
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