12+ quotes from The Bro Code by Barney Stinson

Quotes from The Bro Code

Barney Stinson ·  195 pages

Rating: (8.8K votes)


“Article 2: "A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“Article 24: "When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“Article 100: "When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection."
Corollary: "If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall put his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull down to get a better look.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 54 A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Patty’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13).”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 120 A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.   EXCEPTION: If a Bro’s last name is also a racial epithet.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 2 A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 85 If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. COROLLARY: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they have no idea what they’re whistling at.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 41 A Bro never cries.   EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.*”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“ARTICLE 130 If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


“Artículo 37. Un Colega no está obligado a abrirle caballerosamente la puerta a nadie [...], ellas mismas pueden abrir las puertas. Seamos sinceros, una puerta no pesa tanto.”
― Barney Stinson, quote from The Bro Code


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Barney Stinson
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“I want to see what I will be getting later tonight.” I look at the nude-colored lace that sits under her belly button and shows off the cheeks of her ass.

“You’re getting your hand, buddy.” She pats my chest. “I’m staying at my mom’s tonight, remember?” Fuck, I forgot about that.

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“You’re not leaving me tonight until I taste you; so you need to figure out how to make that happen, or your mom’s going to be pissed when I show up at her house, telling her that I need to eat her daughter’s p**sy before I go to bed or else I can’t sleep.” I watch her cheeks turn bright pink as she glares at me.

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