Quotes from Catching Jordan

Miranda Kenneally ·  288 pages

Rating: (54.1K votes)


“When unrequited love is the most expensive thing on the menu, sometimes you settle for the daily special.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“One thing I learned a long time ago is that even if you think you're meant to be with someone, that doesn't necessarily mean you get to be with them.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“You know, there's no more dangerous creature on Earth than the teenage girl.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. To get something better, you know?”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“For what it's worth," Dad says, running his fingers over the picture, "I've never seen anyone run faster than Henry after you hurt your knee last week.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



“Love hurts worse than getting slammed by a 250-pound linebacker.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Ty:
Damn, he's fine.
Damn, he's a good quarterback.
Damn, he's nice and sweet.
Damn, he's a good kisser.
Damn, he's buff.
Damn, he's great to his family.
Damn, now that I know about Henry,
I'm not sure Ty and I are right for each other.
Henry:
I love the way his curls flop around and hang across his forehead.
I love how he never just lets me win. I have to earn it.
I love how he touches me just because.
I love his loyalty.
I love how when we sleep head-to-toe,
he always finds a reason to sleep head-to-head instead.
I love his unconditional support.
I love his spontaneity and crazy sense of humor.
I love his stupid dances.
I love....him.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Sometimes friendship is just that, just being with someone.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. "You could've told me I knocked you up."
"My bad. I thought you'd force me to get an abortion," Henry replies, taking the baby and cradling it as if it's real. "He has your eyes, Woods."
"And your hair." The doll is bald. "Can we name him Joe Montana?"
"Hells no, his name is Jerry Rice."
"No, his name is Joe Montana."
"I was in labor with him for fourteen hours!" Henry exclaims as he rocks the baby back and forth. “His name is Jerry Rice."
I grin. "Fine.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice."
"Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard.
"Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?"
"Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?"
"Obviously," I say.
"Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute."
"No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it."
"What does it eat?" Carter asks.
"I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room.
"Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies."
"Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



“Jordan, he's loved you forever. It's obvious. Have you not seen how he stares at you?”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“You don't need anyone's permission to do what you love. You should just do it.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“This must be the weirdest thing a football coach has ever seen: two quarterbacks making out.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Any chance that you're pregnant?' the technician says as he pulls the X-ray lamp over my swollen knee.
'No,' Henry and Dad say at the same time.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“How can you be in love with someone for forever and not be willing to take a chance when it finally hits you in the face like a linebacker?”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



“Yo, guys," Ty says, peering down into the stroller. "What the hell is that thing? Satan's spawn?"
"You'd better watch it!" Henry says. He puts on a serious face, throws an arm around my shoulders, and pulls me in close. "That's our child you're
talking about."
Ty smiles, then looks at Jerry Rice. "Its eyes are seriously creeping me out. And I knew something was going on between you two."
"You're right," Henry says. "Woods is my husband, and I'm her wife.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“What's the occasion?" I ask.
He glances up at me and takes a deep breath. "You're the occasion, Woods. I've missed you so, so much.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“But what happens when you don't find that right person? Do you just spend the rest of your life in a relationship where the conversation isn't great, everything isn't perfect, but it is nice and sweet?”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Why were you watching me change?" I explain. "Uh, 'cause I'm a guy?" He flips the pillow and slaps it, fluffing it. Then he rolls over and closes his eyes again.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Woods? Do you have a sec?" Ty asks.
"Sure."
"Alone?" Ty eyes Henry and Jerry Rice, and I jerk my head at Henry.
"Fine," Henry says, rolling his eyes. "Divorce me if you must, Woods. I can't believe I've only been married half an hour and I'm already a single
parent." Ty holds the door to the gym open so Henry can get the stroller through. I giggle at the sight of him carrying those diaper bags across the
gym.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



“I kiss his forehead. "You are a wimpy idiot. But...I still love you."
"I love you too, Woods.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“A wise man once said, 'Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“I didn't know crushing on a guy would require me to up my calorie intake.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Henry?' JJ asks.
'Asleep in my bed.'
'What?' Ty exclaims.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“And if you didn't want him to take me away from you, maybe you should've talked to me when I needed you so badly on Friday." Tears slip down my cheeks. "Maybe you should've taken me when you had the chance.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



“Are you still scared of Mike's room?" I say, giggling.
He falls face first onto the pillow I just threw at him. In a muffled voice he replies, "No, I'd rather just stay with you.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“I squeeze his hand. “You know what I think about dreams?”
Ty smiles slightly. “What?”
“That if you spend too much time dreaming, you’ll stop actually doing. And when you actually do stuff, there’s a good chance things will work out.
We make things happen by attacking, not by sitting around dreaming.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“All those nights of sharing a bed
All those times he put an arm around me
All the things he's done to make my happy
...encouraging me to give Ty a chance
He must really love me if he'll watch me date another guy just to ensure I'm happy
But he's like my brother
And Ty is my boyfriend now
My dream boyfriend
The guy I lost my virginity to
What's scary?
I'm so hot for Ty
but Henry makes me feel whole
in a totally different sort of way
even if I've never considered jumping him
F***ety, F***, F***”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up their
projects."
Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship."
"Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fake
electronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they’re staring straight
into my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry.
"Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan


“Henry looks from my face back to the field, and his eyes pop open wide. I turn to see why he's gaping: JJ and Carter are messing around, trying
to shove a scrawny wide receiver into Jerry Rice's stroller.
"JJ!" Henry yells, "You can't fit a freshman in that stroller.”
― Miranda Kenneally, quote from Catching Jordan



About the author

Miranda Kenneally
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