“So Uncle Stuart is marrying that lady? Mom says she's going to be our aunt Amy. She's okay except she would't try any peanut butter M&M chocolate chip fudge cookies. They were good- you ate five, remember? But she said she was on a special diet, and couldn't eat something called carbs. We told her we didn't put any carbs in our cookies, just M&Ms, but she said M&Ms were carbs.
Uncle Mitch, what's carbs?
email to Uncle Mitch from Haily and Brittany”
“What is the sound of one hand clapping? What is the weight of a single grain of sand? The answer is equal to my interest in the message you are about to leave so make it short. -- Mitch Hertzog's voice mail message.”
“Y Won’t U B With Me, Kate?
Oh, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?
Kate, Don’t U know what U mean to me?
I look at the dirty dishes piling up in the sink
and all I can think
U kept the place so clean
Kate, I treated U like a queen
Oh, Kate, U mean the world to me
Kate, Come home to me
Oh, Kate, Y can’t it B
Like it used to B
Because this world ain’t meant for lovers
No, this world ain’t meant for U and me
Because the bureaucrats in Washington, they’ll set off the bombs, so what’s the point,
We’re all just going to die, anyway.
So, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?
—Dale Carter, All Rights Reserved”
“As if I would EVER give birth. I suppose a well-mannered little six-year-old would be all right, but they simply don’t COME that way. You have to TRAIN them. Too tiresome. I can understand your anguish.”
“KM: Yes. Mrs. Lopez, she's human. And you know, clearly, she'd like people to show some appreciation for her hard work. But if people just, you know, take her pie and don't even say, "Hey, nice pie," they just scarf it down or whatever-
MH: I could see how that would get to be annoying. I mean, if you're constantly providing...pie. And getting no positive feedback-
KM: Right! And what about your future? I mean, how do you know people are still going to want your pie in the future? Supposing they become a famous rock star or something. People are going to be offering them pie all over the place. If they haven't promised only to eat your pie, well, where does that leave you?”
“What do you mean, “Not to worry, she's home safe with Skiboy”?
What the hell is a "Skiboy"?”
“Our annual January get-together was a long-running tradition, going back to the first year of our marriage. The truth, even though he denies this, is that the first party was an attempt by James to prove to his friends that I wasn’t as bad a choice of a mate as I seemed. Richmond and Ramsey—and others, most likely—had warned James that a big-mouthed, hot-tempered woman like me could never be properly tamed. But James was determined to show them that I could, on occasion, be as domestic and wifely as any other woman. I suspect he’s still trying to convince them.”
“I should have been put down at birth.”
“Some maundering fancy of going out with the tide suddenly obsessed me.”
“Victoria hated messes. She hated distractions. Friends were the worst distraction of all.”
“It’s one thing to watch someone row; it’s quite another to try it oneself in heavy seas, and this was a bad moment to begin wondering if the American privateers on the Good Shepherd would be certain to help her and if there was any chance that Devon might have lied about the Shepherd’s identity.”
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