Welcome to the Monkey House
Quotes from the Book
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.
The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.
The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death.
The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.
. . . but the Universe is an awfully big place. There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
His response was to fight it with the only weapons at hand—passive resistance and open displays of contempt.
Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.
Mankind flung its advance agents ever outward, ever outward. Eventually it flung them out into space, into the colorless, tasteless, weightless sea of outwardness without end. It flung them like stones.
Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself.
When you get right down to it, everybody's having a perfectly lousy time of it, and I mean everyone. And the hell of it is, nothing seems to help much.
I found me a place where I can do good without doing any harm, and I can see I'm doing good, and them I'm doing good for know I'm doing it, and they love me, Unk, as best they can. I found me a home.
There is room enough for an awful lot of people to be right about things and still not agree.
The more pain I train myself to stand, the more I learn. You are afraid of pain now, Unk, but you won't learn anything if you don't invite the pain. And the more you learn, the gladder you will be to stand the pain.
That is the first thing I know for sure: (1.) If the questions don't make sense, neither will the answers.
Her face ... was a one-of-a-kind, a surprising variation on a familiar theme - a variation that made observers think, Yes - that would be another very nice way for people to look. What Beatrice had done with her face, actually, was what any plain girl could do. She overlaid it with dignity, suffering, intelligence, and a piquant dash of bitchiness.
Take care of the people, and god almighty will take care of himself.
The Earthlings behaved at all times as though there were a big eye in the sky—as though that big eye were ravenous for entertainment.
It took us that long to realize that a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
All was forgiven. All living things were brothers, and all dead things were even more so.
Mr. Constant," he said, "right now you’re as easy for the Bureau of Internal Revenue to watch as a man on a street corner selling apples and pears. But just imagine how hard you would be to watch if you had a whole office building jammed to the rafters with industrial bureaucrats—men who lose things and use the wrong forms and create new forms and demand everything in quintuplicate, and who understand perhaps a third of what is said to them; who habitually give misleading answers in order to gain time in which to think, who make decisions only when forced to, and who then cover their tracks; who make perfectly honest mistakes in addition and subtraction, who call meetings whenever they feel lonely, who write memos whenever they feel unloved; men who never throw anything away unless they think it could get them fired. A single industrial bureaucrat, if he is sufficiently vital and nervous, should be able to create a ton of meaningless papers a year for the Bureau of Internal Revenue to examine.
He looked around at the perfectly white world, felt the wet kisses of the snowflakes, pondered hidden meanings in the pale yellow streetlights that shone in a world so whitely asleep. "Beautiful," he whispered.
Just 'cause something makes you feel better than anything else, that don't mean it's good for you.
Once upon a time on Tralfamadore there were creatures who weren’t anything like machines. They weren’t dependable. They weren’t efficient. They weren’t predictable. They weren’t durable. And these poor creatures were obsessed by the idea that everything that existed had to have a purpose, and that some purposes were higher than others. These creatures spent most of their time trying to find out what their purpose was. And every time they found out what seemed to be a purpose of themselves, the purpose seemed so low that the creatures were filled with disgust and shame. And, rather than serve such a low purpose, the creatures would make a machine to serve it. This left the creatures free to serve higher purposes. But whenever they found a higher purpose, the purpose still wasn’t high enough. So machines were made to serve higher purposes, too. And the machines did everything so expertly that they were finally given the job of finding out what the highest purpose of the creatures could be. The machines reported in all honesty that the creatures couldn’t really be said to have any purpose at all. The creatures thereupon began slaying each other, because they hated purposeless things above all else. And they discovered that they weren’t even very good at slaying. So they turned that job over to the machines, too. And the machines finished up the job in less time than it takes to say, “Tralfamadore.
The surface of Earth heaved and seethed in fecund restlessness. Earth was most fertile where the most death was.
The only controls available to those on board were two push-buttons on the center post of the cabin -- one labeled on and one labeled off. The on button simply started a flight from Mars. The off button connected to nothing. It was installed at the insistence of the Martian mental-health experts, who said that human beings were always happier with machinery they thought they could turn off.
It was literature in its finest sense, since it made Unk courageous, watchful, and secretly free.
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About Kurt Vonnegut
More by Kurt Vonnegut
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- Kurt Vonnegut
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Keep reading
Red Mars
Gravity's Rainbow
Hyperion
The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet
We All Looked Up
Breakfast of Champions
Consider Phlebas
Songs of Distant Earth
The Rise of Endymion
Wanderers
The Faith of Beasts
Pyramids
The Stand
Cat's Cradle
The Magus
The Fifth Science
That Hideous Strength
Pandora's Star
Timequake
Babylon's Ashes
Xenocide
The Magic Mountain
The Humans
The Jewel in the Crown
Tiamat's Wrath
Slow Gods
A Fire Upon the Deep
Scythe
The Adventures of Augie March
Julian
The Fall of Hyperion
The Burning World
The Stone Gods
East of Eden
Brother Odd
The Golden Compass
Playground
The First Circle
Toll the Hounds
The Signature of All Things
Daniel Deronda
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
The Fall of Babel
Crime and Punishment
Beyond Good and Evil
Dead Astronauts
The Wolf Gift
The Sea, the Sea
The Brothers K
The State of the Art
How Beautiful We Were
Alien Clay
Nod
The Fall
Selected Poems
Winter's Tale
Libra
Death's End
Speaking Bones
The Lathe of Heaven

