Quotes from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

169 pages

Rating: (3.6K votes)


“Disclaimer: While Pastafarianism is the only religion based on empirical evidence, it should also be noted that this is a faith-based book. Attentive readers will note numerous holes and contradictions throughout the text; they will even find blatant lies and exaggerations. These have been placed there to test the reader's faith.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


“We are not saying that Evolution can't exist, only that it is guided by His Noodly Appendage.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


“Today Plato is nearly forgotten. His beliefs include the notion that people who govern should be intelligent, rational, self-controlled, and in love with wisdom, an idea that has long been discredited.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


“We find, counterintuitively, that a small population correlates with shorter humans, and a larger population correlates with taller humans. This only makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus, with less force downward, we're taller.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


“Someone has described religious warfare as “killing people over who has the best invisible friend.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster



“I have never even seen a witch, let alone felt the need to burn one to death. We can conclude, then, that our forefathers, equipped with the knowledge that supernatural explanations were reasonable, rounded up all the witches in existence and took care of them. The other possibility is that there are witches out there, hiding somewhere, plotting their revenge, liberally applying fireproofing compounds to themselves. And someday they may reappear and start causing trouble.”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


“College costs money- a lot. Yet education in itself is not of much value. For example, we can look to the general public's almost complete disregard for anything that educated people have to say about global warming, shrinking oil reserves, pollution, or the threat of nuclear annihilation. But if all this is true, why does something as worthless as a college diploma cost so much money?”
― quote from The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster


Popular quotes

“The dragonets found the carpenters to be even more fascinating than the furniture, and followed the poor men from pen to pen, crowding around to watch, tasting the wooden planks, trying to steal the tools. It made for an interesting day for everyone, as the boys tried to keep the dragonets away from the carpenters, and the dragonets tried to get at the carpenters, and the carpenters worked probably a great deal faster than they ever had in their lives, sure that the dragonets would go from tasting the wood to tasting them. ”
― Mercedes Lackey, quote from Alta


“That’s why they pay me the medium-sized bucks.”
― Karen Rose, quote from I Can See You


“It takes a child to say the unsayable.”
― Nick Hornby, quote from How to Be Good


“As one 1935 study put it, boys and girls who were 15 or 16 in 1929 when the Depression began are no longer children; they are grown-ups – adults who had never, since they left school, had anything productive to do; adults in the embittered by years of suffering and hardship. The President's Advisory Commission on Education was to warn of a whole lost generation of young people.”
― Robert A. Caro, quote from The Path to Power


“That the good that we do might live on after us, while the evil lies interred with their bones.”
― Jennifer Lee Carrell, quote from Interred with Their Bones


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