Helen Fielding · 352 pages
Rating: (86.6K votes)
“Keep thinking back about what Mum said about being real and the Velveteen Rabbit book (though frankly have had enough trouble with rabbits in this particular house). My favorite book, she claims of which I have no memory was about how little kids get one toy that they love more than all the others, and even when its fur has been rubbed off, and it's gone saggy with bits missing, the little child still thinks it's the most beautiful toy in the world, and can't bear to be parted from it.
That's how it works, when people really love each other, Mum whispered on the way out in the Debenhams lift, as if she was confessing some hideous and embarrassing secret. But, the thing is, darling, it doesn't happen to ones who have sharp edges, or break if they get dropped, or ones made of silly synthetic stuff that doesn't last. You have to be brave and let the other person know who you are and what you feel.”
“9p.m. My flat. Feel very strange and empty. Is all very well thinking everything is going to be different when you come back but then it is all the same. Suppose I have to make it different. But what am I going to do with my life?
I know. Will eat some cheese.”
“One minute you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, next minute they need only to say the words 'time apart', 'serious talk' or 'maybe you...' and you're never going to see them again and will have to spend the next six months having imaginary conversations in which they beg to come back, and bursting into tears at the sight of their toothbrush.”
“What is it about mothers and the phone which, immediately you say you have to go, makes them think of nineteen completely irrelevant things they have to tell you that minute?”
“Jude: Just as you are? Not thinner? Not cleverer? Not with slightly bigger breasts or slightly smaller nose?
Bridget: No.
Shazzer: Well, fuck me.
Tom: This is someone you hate right?
Bridget: Yes, yes, I hate him.”
“All got really plastered after that. Was completely fantastic evening. As Tom said, if Miss Havisham had had some jolly flatmates to take the piss out of her she would never have stayed so long in her wedding dress.”
“I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world!”
“She's a jellyfisher: You have a conversation with her that seems all nice and friendly, then you suddenly feel like you've been stung and you don't know where it came from.”
“Weightless (in air), alcohol units 8 (but in-flight so canceled out by altitude), cigarettes 0 (desperate: no-smoking seat), calories 1 million (entirely made up of things would never have dreamt of putting in self's mouth were they not on in-flight tray), farts from traveling companion 38 (so far), variations in fart aroma 0.”
“zdjęcia księcia Williama mogłabym oglądać w ilościach hurtowych, najlepiej w całej gamie strojów, ale oczywiście zdaję sobie sprawę z tego, że żądza ta jest czymś niepożądanym i niewłaściwym”
“Era como una de esas comidas de negocios en las que todo el mundo habla durante tanto tiempo de cosas que nada tienen que ver con el tema, que al final resulta demasiado embarazoso destruir la magia de una ocasión tan deliciosa y puramente social, con lo que uno nunca llega realmente al quid de la cuestión.”
“Odio el comportamiento pasivo-agresivo del teléfono en el mundo moderno de las citas, utilizando la no comunicación como forma de comunicación. Es terrible, terrible: una llamada o la ausencia de ésta marca la diferencia entre el amor y la amistad, o entre la felicidad y ser dejada a tu suerte en la despiadada guerra de trincheras de las citas, exactamente en la misma situación que antes pero sintiéndote incluso más jodida que la última vez.”
“Una chica puede casarse con cualquiera cuando tiene dieciocho años. Pero cuando a formado su carácter, aceptar la realidad e un hombre tiene que parecer insufrible.”
“... pero al fin y al cabo todas las buenas obras son una mezcla de altruismo e interés propio,...”
“¡Sencillamente, no podemos definir nuestra propia individualidad en términos de si estamos o no con otra persona!¡Deberíamos celebrar lo fantástico que es ser libre!”
“Es extraño que, cuando la gente en general muestra menos y menos buena voluntad para esperar por cualquier cosa, estén preparados para esperar por esta única cosa: como si en el cruel mundo moderno fuese lo único en lo que uno puede verdaderamente creer y apoyarse...”
“Lo que he aprendido es la importancia de desvincularse de las locuras de los demás porque uno ya tiene bastante de qué preocuparse intentando mantenerse centrado...”
“Get out. You’ve had the warning sign, he votes Tory. Now get out before you get too involved.”
“The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent.”
“She's nothing more than a pathetic, little half-blood," the ancient woman had continued. "I say send her to the Masters. I'm in need of a little girl to clean my toilets."
Then she had twisted her fingers cruelly.
And I had kicked her shin.”
“Facts are but the Play-things of lawyers,-- Tops and Hoops, forever a-spin... Alas, the Historian may indulge no such idle Rotating. History is not Chronology, for that is left to Lawyers,-- nor is it Remembrance, for Remembrance belongs to the People. History can as little pretend to the Veracity of the one, as claim the Power of the other,-- her Practitioners, to survive, must soon learn the arts of the quidnunc, spy, and Taproom Wit,-- that there may ever continue more than one life-line back into a Past we risk, each day, losing our forebears in forever,-- not a Chain of single Links, for one broken Link could lose us All,-- rather, a great disorderly Tangle of Lines, long and short, weak and strong, vanishing into the Mnemonick Deep, with only their Destination in common.”
“I didn’t want to kill the hollow any more than I wanted to kill a strange animal. In the course of leading this creature around by the nose, I had gotten close enough to understand that there was more than just void inside it. There was a tiny spark, a little marble of soul at the bottom of a deep pool. It wasn’t hollow—not really.”
“Wow you need to get some sun.”
“Shut up. I'm Irish.”
“She was amazed Silveny had even let them get close enough to attach the reins. Clearly she needed to teach the glittering horse how to recognize pure evil.”
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